Not to be... (Part 2)

Not to be: Part 1

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...continued


Now, it was the last time they would be meeting, for the foreseaable & relevant future. The setting was neutral - a coffee shop. Neither was known for an emotional outburst, and the coffee shop would prevent such a scene in any case.

He reached early and was waiting for her. She came soon, dressed in purple. The dark colour was in perfect contrast with her beautiful, smooth, fair skin. Ah, she looked angelic. He regretted not having shaved off his stubble. He convinced himself - maybe she liked the rugged look !

He held her hand - it fit perfectly into his. She did not resist. She liked the warmth of his hands. He was sad, upset. He knew how the conversation would proceed. She was smiling, the twinkle in her eyes always present. He hoped that the smile hid some amount of sadness & regret. He wanted to hear from her how she felt about him. Little did he know that he never would, ever.

He was not his usual self. He found it hard to talk, to smile, to make conversation. There was a lump in his throat, that brought tears to the edge of his eye. But, he refused to cry. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to show her that he also could be strong like her. He wanted to lie to her - just this one time.

She was truly lady-like in her approach, the only exception being that she did not withdraw her hand from his.

She kept talking, and he kept fidgeting with her fingers.

Suddenly, he interrupted her irrelevant talks.

"are you sure ?"

She was silent for a while. "Yes"

"This is just not fair", he resigned.

"I know.. but, the doors are closed on our relationship"

"they are not closed. you have shut them ! I want you to open the door for me.."

And, then, as she dithered to reply, he gave up. Whatever hopes he had, came crashing down. He knew it wasn't going to be. It was meant to be. It was perfect. But it was not going to happen.

He will be with someone else. She will be with someone else. They both might very well be happy in their individual lives. But for him, one question will always persistently bother him - What if ? What if ?

She mentioned something about them not having a snap together. He asked the waiter to click a snap. He even smiled. They would both preserve this photograph, this only photograph of their together, forever.

Although he smiled for the photograph, his mind was elsewhere. He had never felt this helpless. He was a guy who liked to be in control. He realised that this time, he would have to let go.

Soon, the coffees became as cold as the conversation died down. They stood, her hand still in his, almost like they had forgotten they are holding hands.

And they walked out. He was lost. She betrayed no sadness, gave him nothing to capitalise on, showed no weakness. In this moment, for this reason, he hated her. But not as much as he loved her.

She was about to get into a vehicle to head home. As she stepped in, he dint get go of her hand. He pulled her back towards him. And held her close. Closer than he had ever held her. Closer than public modesty would allow. But still not as close as he really wanted to hold her.

He looked into her eyes. And, for the first time, they betrayed the facade she was putting up. Yes, they said, yes i feel the same. Her eyes told him what her lips never did. Or that is what he wanted to believe !

And they stood for what seemed like an eternity. He closed his eyes. He had no way of knowing that she did the same, almost immediately. He leaned in towards her. He put one hand lightly on the back of her neck, and simultaneously she placed one hand lightly on his hip. And they kissed on the street. And, she, who did not open the door for him, pliantly opened her lips to meet his.

It was not they perfect moment, by far. It was hot, humid, polluted, noisy and populated. But they did not see anything else. They did not feel anything else. It was the sweetest kiss that either of them would ever know.

Their lips parted after what seemed like forever, but still too less. She got into the waiting vehicle, her eyes still closed.

She wanted the last image of his to be that of him leaning in to kiss her. He let her hand go, tantalisingly slow, and watched her vehicle speed away from him.

That was the last time they would see each other, like I said, for the relevant future.

----The End---

Not to be... (Part 1)

It was the last time they would be meeting, for the foreseeable & relevant future. The setting was neutral - a coffee shop. Neither was known for an emotional outburst, and the coffee shop prevent such a scene in any case.

It wasn't long ago that they had met. In fact, it was only a month back that they had first seen each other in person after school.

They weren't friends in school. She was the prettiest girl & he was among the many who only looked from a distance wishing they could be friends. She had left school before the final year and moved to Indonesia.

Since, there was no friendship to begin with, they had never been in touch. Also, there was not mechanism to be in touch. Neither had cellphones, there was no Facebook.

Fast-forward 10 years. He was now a confident young man. She was, for him, still the prettiest girl. They were "friends" on Facebook, which meant that he checked out all her latest photograph uploads, but never chatted with her.

One fine day, there was a photograph upload that he could not resist admiring and staring at for hours together. He had to tell her ! The internet medium, wherein you can chat without being face-to-face, lent him a lot of courage. He chatted - "you are looking absolutely stunning in your dp". And thus began a friendship. He realised that beautiful girls are also from the same planet & equally human. She realised that the geek from school, a non-entity to her at that point of time, had grown into a fine, young, funny man.

They kept chatting and with the advent of BBM, became even closer. Predictably, the guy fell in love with her. Predictably, the girl's feelings were never explicitly expressed !

And then something happened that the guy was waiting for. The girl decided to travel to India...for a month. He decided to woo her, as much as she allowed him to !

The first time they met, again, was a neutral place - an early morning jogging park. He saw her for the first time in person for over 10 years. She was as enchanting as ever. A pristine face, a "come fall in love with me" smile, long black-brown tresses that fell below her waistline. He, largely a confident guy, fell inadequate, even undeserving. For him, she felt as unattainable now as she felt unapproachable in school. But he wasn't gonna sit on his ass this time round !

And when they met, after the first few awkward moments - he kept stealing glances at her, and felt a loss of words, she wondered why the normally chatty guy had lost his tongue - they started talking. The ice shattered, and a comfort level was soon established. They laughed - he cracked the jokes, however, she was witty in her own way. They spoke about everything and nothing. They shared their feelings. They spoke about their families. They spoke about their insecurities. They spoke about their dreams.

The guy was elated, he was in love. The girl was scared, maybe she felt the same too. He wanted to hold her, maybe she wanted it to. But, that day and on the days following, he did no such thing.

And, thus, their talks continued. She really felt that he was the guy she would want to be with, he was the guy who she would be happy with, in every which way. However, it wasn't just her feelings that mattered. She envisaged a lot of opposition from her family for reasons that she felt convincing enough.

They spoke about it. He was livid. All that mattered to him was that 2 people love each other (mind you, she had never uttered those words explicitly, and would never do so...ever) and want to be with each other. Everything else can be taken care of.

However, she felt otherwise.

He was not known to explode with anger. He respected her and her feelings. He was sad, upset, angry. But those feelings were nothing against the feelings of love, respect and trust he had for her. If she said it ain't happening, it ain't happening.

And so, the month ended.

Now, it was the last time they would be meeting, for the foreseaable & relevant future. The setting was neutral - a coffee shop. Neither was known for an emotional outburst, and the coffee shop prevent such a scene in any case......


.....to be continued........